Anita Di Bianco     Projects | News | Writings | Contact | Films
<< Letters from the Unsuspecting
Letters from the Unsuspecting

My dear,

While I harbor no illusion as to my ability to dispel misunderstanding in advance, I should simply like to warn against misconstrued notions stemming from the numerous indications that my persistence has so frequently been considered evidence of ingenuousness. Much of that which is affected, even by the most genuinely engaged, is predictably stinted by such an island life as this one, such implausible evocations as that which drifts off stagnant or contained waters. As I seem fated to designate against, delineate and furnish the proof of my worthiness and concern in such matters, it is certainly not without a most lurid trepidation that I have approached you, quite possibly unsolicited, (though even of this I am not sufficiently convinced) in the first place, and that I have refused to be put off and thus to abandon further attempts in the interest of compelling mystery or some quite jagged concerns regarding self-respect.

Such afterthoughts, I suspect, will serve to neither flatter nor inspire. I am aware that I risk presumption in hinting that I do not believe this to be your wish or intention. As such, I have made the decision to sustain a correspondence that will require a minimum of initiative on your part, which will demand of you only occasional attentions - for what you have referred to as my budding sentimentality I intend to take full responsibility, in inception and consequence. I am aware that retreating from my earlier, and more fervent attempts may strike you as a manifestation of either unappealing weakness or of the most opportunistic sort of compromise. Into either case I would project your cause for reticence and irretrievability.

Predictable though it may seem, I feel I must offer the blushed admission of having dreamt of you the night before last. Now that I recall it in a more tranquil frame of mind, (that which so often finds me thinking of you), I realize that it is the utter consistency of your actions in my dream and in our infrequently shared waking state which now strikes me, and which very regrettably lacks any bit of mystery or likely inspiration. Foolish as it may seem, I have contrived to interpret even this as substantiation of the necessity of staying true to those few hints I have suspected might furnish inducement to further insist upon even your subtle, brief, or rare attentions.

© anita di bianco 2018